Funmurphys: the Blog

A Twofer

Shelley at Burningbird has two stories of interest to me.

First up is her deliciously fun thoughts on some tags html should have:

The BUTTHOLE tag. This can be used when linking to a butthole. Then when the person’s page shows up in Google, a disclaimer can be attached to the results saying something like, “Someone somewhere thinks this person is a butthole. Proceed accordingly".

(Of course, we could also call this the WEBLOG tag – most of us are buttholes to someone at some time or another, or we’re not trying hard enough.)

The SICKOPERVERTPREVENTION tag. This can be used to surround content that contains words that will most likely end up in some sick Google search phrase–words like porn, whip, sex, balls, breasts, and sheep.

The DISCLAIMER tag. This can be used to surround libelous content. Then when you’re sued, you can point to the page and say, “See? I used the DISCLAIMER tag. This means I was only joshin’ when I published the content.”

The SUCKUP tag. This is my personal favorite. Use this when referencing a specific individual who you want to suck up to. It could be anyone, from a rock star to a weblogger who has more link juice then you (that is, if they still have link juice with the use of BLINK). We all know that some folks suck up to other folks, but there’s nothing in the writing to prove it. Now we can remove any doubt that sucking up is happening.

Best of all, when the individual searches in Google for people who are sucking up to them, they’ll get back your page. Think of the miscommunications this can prevent?

I think I'd call it the JOKE tag instead of DISCLAIMER since people try to wiggle off with "I was just trying to make a joke", but since she came up with it, she gets to name it. We need a separate SWIFT tag for when people are trying to emulate Johnathan Swift's A Modest Proposal, and a PARODY tag just to help out the clueless.

I have to get my car registered by the end of the month, so yesterday I had my car inspected, and this morning I had it emissions tested. Guess what - Shelley's doing the same thing right here in the great state of Missouri. I didn't actually have to get the emissions test - I just had to pay the 24 dollars to get the certificate because Missouri has this program where they send these specially marked vans to highway onramps and measure emissions as the cars go by. I wonder if they just give a pass to cars of recent vintage, but they do NOT just stick their noses out the window. Since I didn't send the money in in time to get the required form back in time to finish the registration this month, I just went by the static test facility (state run) first thing this morning (no line!) and they said I had already passed so if I would just hand over the money I could be on my way with form in hand. Now I just have to gather my paperwork (inspection form, emissions form, proof of insurance form, and paid personal property tax receipt) and I'm good to go. The best part is, now that we register biannually, the lines are half as long. It's the small things in life I look forward to.

Should I enclose this whole post in SUCKUP tags?